Posts By Date

Let's start by defining the term. Dialogue: A discussion between representatives of parties to a conflict that is aimed at resolution” [1]

Maybe we disagree about dinner, how to tie our shoes, or whether the sky is even blue! Regardless of the strife, my mother always remedied any difficult situation among my siblings by urging us to simply “work it out”.

Work it out? How would we do that? With a good ol’ fashioned dialogue!

The discipline of dialogue, as with most behaviors, requires continual practice for improvement. Just like working out at the gym, running, or even stacking hay bales, it gets easier the more you try doing it.

Here a few strategies that I have not yet mastered but have found helpful when engaging in crucial or difficult conversations related to conflict resolution.


Think of the last time you were mad at somebody. So mad that your heart began to race, your ears went red, and your thoughts became crowded with assumptions about the other person. We’re often reluctant to listen to the age-old wisdom of calming the brain with focused breathing, but research shows that even just a few deep breaths can reduce blood pressure, heart rate, and anxiety [2] while increasing your concentration and ability to have a respectful conversation.

Use “I Statements”

A component of respectful conversation is using “I” statements which acknowledge how we are feeling when speaking with someone else; Even if we are talking about how the other person’s actions or behaviors have affected us. An example of this would be “I don’t feel like you are seeing my perspective” as opposed to “you aren’t seeing my perspective”. When using “I” statements, we refrain from making accusations and harness our self-control to confront conflict in a way that is beneficial for everyone involved.

These are simply two strategies that I’ve garnered throughout the years, and like I said, I’m still working on it! An effective leader knows that we always will be. Stay tuned for more conflict resolution dialogue practices!


[1] Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Definition of dialogue. Retrieved December 13, 2022, from

[2] Magnon, V., Dutheil, F., & Vallet, G. T. (2021). Benefits from one session of deep and slow breathing on vagal tone and anxiety in young and older adults. Scientific Reports, 11(1), 19267.

Posted In:
Comments: 0

The First Steps

So, you’re in a conflict? Is that okay? YES! Because conflict is the precursor of resolution.

There are multiple denotations of “conflict” and “resolution” but for context, I am speaking of one of the Merriam-Webster’s [1][2] definitions provided for conflict and resolution which is that conflict is a “mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands” and resolution is “to deal with successfully : clear up.”

When seeking resolution, we must have the emotional intelligence to recognize when a conflict arises, and that conflict can lead to negative outcomes which you may or may not have control over.

We control:

  • Our actions
  • Our words
  • Our attitude
  • Our reactions
  • Our volume
  • Our emotions

We do not control:

  • Their actions
  • Their words
  • Their attitude
  • Their reactions
  • Their volume
  • Their emotions

One thing I am learning, is that there is a time and place for finding resolution, and furthermore, we can reduce the number of negative consequences coming from conflict if we evaluate the situation to objectively address the significance of your conflict and the relationship we have with the other person.

That leads to another lesson I’ve learned, and I don’t want to seem contradictive, but sometimes the best resolution to a conflict is letting go of the issue and your pride because at the end of the day, some things just aren’t worth arguing over. Well, that is unless the other people disagree and believes it is worth arguing over. Messy stuff right! 

Source: LinkedInAs shown in the diagram provided by LinkedIn, compromise is the heart of resolution. Compromise being “to come to agreement by mutual concession”. [3] Furthermore, the figure shows that resolution occurs when you ask yourself, “How important is this problem and how much consideration am I giving the other person?” which is required for a successful dialogue between two conflicting parties.

A few of my personal takeaways from this discussion:

  • Recognize when conflict arises
  • Identify how you are responsible for controlling your behavior
  • Before engaging in dialogue ask yourself, “Is this worth it?”


Image Source: LinkedIn

[1]  Definition of conflict. (n.d.). Retrieved December 1, 2022, from

[2] Definition of resolution. (n.d.). Retrieved December 1, 2022, from

[3] Definition of compromise. (n.d.). Retrieved December 1, 2022, from



Posted In:
Comments: 0