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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, March 02nd, 2021
  1. “Provides frequent feedback. Employees (especially younger ones) live in a world where most feedback is instantaneous. They expect it and will wilt and underperform without it.
  2. Generates opportunities for reality advice. We all have blind spots – weaknesses that we don’t see in ourselves – and reality advice helps your employees to grow in self-awareness.
  3. Offers encouragement. Strong leaders often forget to praise and encourage those who report to them. Coach and connect provides an opportunity to encourage your team.
  4. Builds relationships. Even though you may work together all day, you might not discuss the most important things that motivate your team members. 
  5. Fosters career advice and mentorship. Coach and Connect is the time when you can pass on what you’ve learned to someone else, helping them grow to be better employees and human beings (269-270).”

From: Throness, T. (2017). The power of people skills: how to eliminate 90% of your hr problems and dramatically increase team and company morale and performance. Wayne, NJ: Career Press.

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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, February 16th, 2021

“Paradoxically, in our age of constant communication, the raw material of conversation has actually disappeared: listening. Genuine, real listening is a rare commodity and a great gift, because you are giving to the person you are listening to your most valuable asset: your attention.

Here are a few suggestions of how to do it right, based on the communication technique ‘active listening’ devised by Carl Rogers and Richard Farson in 1957.

  • Listen, don’t talk. Resist talking about yourself. If they are talking about troubles they are having at work, don’t tell them you hate your job. It’s never the same. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it’s not about you.
  • Don’t finish the other person’s… Some people have a tendency of impatiently finishing the sentence or thought of the person they are talking to. Although very slow thinking and talking can be irritating, don’t interrupt, even if you think it might show empathy.
  • Your body language says a lot. Look the other person in the eye – but don’t stare. Nod – but only if you want to agree with what they are saying or show that you have understood something important.
  • Notice the little things. Listen out for details in what they are saying and pick up on these later. This makes it easier to ask questions (‘You mentioned that you spent a lot of time as a child at your grandmother’s – what kind of relationship did you have with her?’). And it lets the other person know that you were really listening.
  • Be a friend, not a judge. Resist the impulse of giving the other person advice – unless of course they specifically ask for it. Instead, take the conversation back to an exciting, important part of the story (p. 86-88).”

From: Krogerus, M., & Tschappeler, R. (2018). Translated by: Piening, J., & Jones, L. The communication book: 44 ideas for better conversations every day. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

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“We talk about the heart every day. It’s part of our natural vocabulary. For thousands of years, we have spoken of it as more than just a pump. But have you ever really thought about what it means? When we say somebody spoke from the heart, it means they spoke with meaning, insight, and sincerity. Or that the deeper reality of each of us is reflected when we’re following our heart.

That is why we say that the heart of the matter is always a matter of the heart, and that the four universal principles live within the heart, arranged in matching pairs above and below a central line. They are the deeper reality of our character, our thinking, and our behavior. They are a source of insight and clarity about how we each work, love, and live. Understanding what is happening in somebody else’s heart is how we feel compassion or empathy.

Love is our greatest need. Rejection is our greatest fear. We spend our lives seeking love and avoiding rejection. As John Lennon once said, ‘There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.’ We feel these two drivers in our own behavior and recognize them in the behavior of others. If we can grasp this wisdom, it will guide us to effective life relationships and successful leadership (p. 57-58).”

From: Klemich, S. & Klemich, M. (2020). Above the line: living and leading with heart. New York: Harper Business

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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, February 02nd, 2021

“The first principle of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. This is the most basic of the principles. It is there, so you know what you are doing, how you are doing it, and why you behave the way that you do. Your ability to be self-aware is highly dependent upon your ability to pay attention to yourself in the moment. If you want to be self-aware, you must be able to touch base with yourself.

This particular skill is crucial – without it, you cannot hope to be able to go any further with your own emotional intelligence. If you struggle with being emotionally intelligent, you need to keep in mind that at the end of the day, this skillset sets the stage for everything. How can you self-regulate without self-awareness? How can you hope to be socially aware if you cannot be self-aware? How can you actively and skillfully help yourself manage relationships if you cannot pay attention to yourself and how you behave?

Self-awareness is one of those that many people, unfortunately, struggle with greatly, despite the importance of this principle. If you are able to take better control of yourself with your self-awareness, however, you can begin to defeat the problems that you have. If you are struggling with emotional intelligence, this is the most likely culprit and you will want to start her to fix your problem (p. 76).”

From: Bradberry, B. (2020). Emotional intelligence: develop empathy and increase your emotional agility for leadership, improve your social skills to be successful at work and discover why it can matter more than iq/eq 2.0 [Kindle version]. Retrieved from amazon.com

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By: Beth Flynn, Thursday, January 28th, 2021
  1. “Do a self-assessment. Is the feedback accurate? If not, is some of it right. If possible, try to find an objective measurement. Be honest with yourself. The goal is progress, not perfection.
  2. If you’re not sure the feedback is accurate, find someone you trust and ask them to provide a second opinion.
  3. Consider where the person is coming from, their motivation, and their emotional state. Senders can have issues. An angry person may lash out, a jealous person may say negative things, etc.
  4. Be kind to yourself. We are all human beings. Of course, when we read or hear something about ourselves or others we care about, we will be hurt. This is normal, but try to put it in perspective and look at it as an opportunity to practice forgiveness, self-care, and hopefully the pursuit of personal growth (p. 54-55).”

From: Studer,Q. (2020). The busy leader’s handbook: how to lead people and places that thrive. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley and Sons. 

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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, January 19th, 2021
  1. “Maturity
  2. Passion
  3. Drive
  4. Integrity
  5. Reliability
  6. Positivity
  7. Run with a star crowd
  8. Bloom where they’ve been planted 
  9. Track record of success
  10. Respected by colleagues (p.49-50).”

From: Throness, T. (2017). The power of people skills: how to eliminate 90% of your hr problems and dramatically increase team and company morale and performance. Wayne, NJ: Career Press.

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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, January 19th, 2021

“Growing your character is about having the courage to expand your personal comfort zone within yourself. Staying in our comfort zone where we feel safe, secure, and in control can in fact be the deception of living in self-limiting fear and ego-driven pride. In nearly every aspect of life it takes character for you to be your best self.

Interestingly, when we achieve more in life, it presents us with the opportunity to grow or stay at the edge of our comfort zone. For example, you do well at work and you get a promotion opportunity. Immediately you can experience fear of failure, fear of what others may think of you, questioning whether you can do the job, even feeling you will have to use a fake-it-until-I-make-it strategy. Like it or not, growing character takes courage to face our fears and not mask them with ego-driven pride or hide from them. Developing ourselves means seeing this as the courageous zone – to learn and grow (p. 125-132)."

From: Klemich, S. & Klemich, M. (2020). Above the line: living and leading with heart. New York: Harper Business

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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, January 19th, 2021

“Honesty – Self-Righteousness + Vulnerability = Authenticity

By noticing our own phony tendencies, challenging ourselves to be honest, being self-aware enough to remove our self-righteousness, and having the courage to be vulnerable – we’re able to truly authentic.

Understanding the Authenticity Equation and practicing it with ourselves, at work, and in life allows us to show up and connect with others in a real way. It’s not easy, and it takes significant self-awareness and courage, but when we do this it’s both liberating for us and inspiring for those around us. At the core, bringing our whole selves to work is based on our ability to be authentic. And, being authentic has a profound impact on how we connect with others and build relationships, as well as how we engage in our work and produce results (p. 72-73).”

Robbins, M. (2018). Bring your whole self to work: how vulnerability unlocks creativity, connection, and performance. Carlsbad, NM: Hay House, Inc.

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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, December 22nd, 2020

“Appreciation is about acknowledging a person’s inherent value. It’s not about recognizing their accomplishments; it’s about appreciating who they are as a human being. In simple terms, recognition is about what we do; appreciation is about who we are. This is important for many reasons, but mainly because even when we have success, individually and collectively, there may be failures and challenges along the way. And even if there aren’t, there may not be tangible results to recognize. If we focus solely on positive outcomes, we miss out on lots of opportunities for connection, support, and appreciation. What most of us truly yearn for at work and in life is to be appreciated for who we are, not just what we do (p. 93-94).”

From: Robbins, M. (2018). Bring your whole self to work: how vulnerability unlocks creativity, connection, and performance. Carlsbad, NM:Hay House, Inc.

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By: Beth Flynn, Tuesday, December 08th, 2020

“Time is a language of love. When we take time with someone, it demonstrates that they are important. One of the most valuable resources any of us has is our time. And when we take the time to invest in others, we are showing them that they matter to us. But because time is such a precious commodity, we must be judicious and intentional with it.

I am not talking about wasting time shooting the breeze. Few of us can afford that. I am talking about slowing down enough so that we become sensitive to the opportunities to invest our time wisely in our team members. A word of encouragement spoken at just the right time, when a colleague or direct report is struggling with a difficult task, can be immensely uplifting. Expressing, in the moment, appreciation for an expenditure of discretionary effort can fuel performance (p. 324-325).”

From: Ross, R. (2019). Relationomics: business powered by relationships. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books

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