Conflict Resolution & Dialogue

The First Steps

So, you’re in a conflict? Is that okay? YES! Because conflict is the precursor of resolution.

There are multiple denotations of “conflict” and “resolution” but for context, I am speaking of one of the Merriam-Webster’s [1][2] definitions provided for conflict and resolution which is that conflict is a “mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands” and resolution is “to deal with successfully : clear up.”

When seeking resolution, we must have the emotional intelligence to recognize when a conflict arises, and that conflict can lead to negative outcomes which you may or may not have control over.

We control:

• Our actions
• Our words
• Our attitude
• Our reactions
• Our volume
• Our emotions

We do not control:

• Their actions
• Their words
• Their attitude
• Their reactions
• Their volume
• Their emotions

One thing I am learning, is that there is a time and place for finding resolution, and furthermore, we can reduce the number of negative consequences coming from conflict if we evaluate the situation to objectively address the significance of your conflict and the relationship we have with the other person.

That leads to another lesson I’ve learned, and I don’t want to seem contradictive, but sometimes the best resolution to a conflict is letting go of the issue and your pride because at the end of the day, some things just aren’t worth arguing over. Well, that is unless the other people disagree and believes it is worth arguing over. Messy stuff right! 

As shown in the diagram provided by LinkedIn, compromise is the heart of resolution. Compromise being “to come to agreement by mutual concession”. [3] Furthermore, the figure shows that resolution occurs when you ask yourself, “How important is this problem and how much consideration am I giving the other person?” which is required for a successful dialogue between two conflicting parties.

A few of my personal takeaways from this discussion:

• Recognize when conflict arises
• Identify how you are responsible for controlling your behavior
• Before engaging in dialogue ask yourself, “Is this worth it?”

References

Image Source: LinkedIn

[1]  Definition of conflict. (n.d.). Retrieved December 1, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/conflict

[2] Definition of resolution. (n.d.). Retrieved December 1, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resolutio

[3] Definition of compromise. (n.d.). Retrieved December 1, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/compromise